Hello, dear friends.
I have been thinking about this concept a lot lately. Sometimes it seems like we are doing everything right, yet we still feel lost. We think to ourselves, “I should feel better by now.”
You are not alone in this experience, and you’re definitely not broken for feeling this way.
Our brains are designed to seek what is familiar to them, and when we make changes (even positive ones)… the brain can resist or even revolt. Our brains use up a ton of our body’s energy, and for that reason, they prioritize efficiency. This efficiency is created through favoring routines and predictability, even if those things are causing us harm. Our brain uses much less energy when it is able to predict what is going to happen, instead of react to something new that is happening. In fact, when we make changes, our amygdala can rev up and react to this novelty as a life threat. Even if we know in our core self that the changes we are making are good for us and are in line with our goals and morals, we can still upset the familiarity-seeking part of us that feels comfort and values reduced energy expenditure above all else.
Fortunately, due to the concept of neuroplasticity, our brains are able to change and feel comfortable with our new habits in time. I look at it like the difference between driving down a six-lane highway in a fast car versus bushwhacking our way into the woods. Even though bushwhacking into the woods seems impossible and the highway seems easy — eventually we will create a foot path in the woods. After long enough, the foot path might grow wider and easier to traverse. Eventually, the old abandoned highway gets overgrown and the familiar footpath starts to feel like a normal and safe place to be.
Neuroplasticity is amazing, and it is so fucking cool that we can re-wire our own brain into a lovely place for the mind to reside. That being said, it takes time, focus, and persistence. Sometimes a tree falls over the foot path. Sometimes there’s a snake on the ground right in front of us. Sometimes we want to turn around and run back to the car and drive away. During these moments, it’s important to do the next right thing, even if it feels hard, even if everything inside of us is saying “fuck it.” The invitation here is to give thanks to our super-efficient brains for trying to conserve energy, and to continue to act from our values and the guidance of our core self. Stay the course.
May you be happy and free, dear reader.
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