Hello, dear friends.
I recently started working on a different writing project (more to come soon) where I’ve been exploring shame and the inner critic.
Then something amazing happened.
Shame and the inner critic paid me a visit. They said, “Who do you think you are, trying to write about stuff like this? This is terrible. DO NOT show this to the world. You’ll be rejected. Ashamed. Bad.”
I decided to take a step back for a few days to recalibrate. Why is the inner critic coming at me like this? Am I uniquely unsuited to try new things? Does this happen to anyone else?
I brought my experience to our support group, and to some other friends. We all have this voice inside of our heads that tells us we are not good enough. This Inner Critic, though rude, is actually here to protect us. The Inner Critic is working hard to make sure we are accepted by our tribe so we are not cast out all alone. However, if we let it take the driver’s seat and run the whole show, it can keep us from taking risks that improve the quality of our lives.
I remember a time when my Inner Critic said “You’re broken. You’re a loser. There’s no point to quitting drinking because this is your destiny.” And then maybe it kicked me. For good measure.
Like all of our parts, it’s important to first recognize that the Inner Critic is speaking to us, then take the space we need to separate from it so we can respond to the situation from our Core Self. We can connect with other people and relate about our experiences. Then we can make a choice not out of fear, but out of genuine love for ourselves and ambition to get to the place where we want to be.
Today I’m turning back towards that bigger, scarier writing project. I have my Inner Critic sitting beside me, but it won’t be taking the driver’s seat. As I work to love and understand all my parts, I’m also working to find ways to make the life for myself that’s based in self-compassion and not letting fear of rejection hold me back.
Won’t you join me?
May you be happy and free, dear reader.
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