At our support group last week we discussed confronting our addiction to social media. We talked about researching ourselves like scientists, gathering data about our experiences, and making informed decisions for our well being based on our findings.
Social media is more or less ubiquitous, and designed with addiction in mind. Perhaps in the early days there was some spark of “connectedness” or some other wholesome concept, but as with all things under global capitalism, it pretty immediately got commodified.
They say if a product is free, you are the product. This is absolutely the case with social media. What percentage of your feed is ads? Do you ever feel inadequate while comparing yourself to others, and feel the need to buy a product to fill the void?
Fortunately for me, I deleted Facebook in 2010 after a stark realization. At that time, there was a little tagline on the top of one’s profile where one would complete the sentence “Early is….” or “(Your name) is….” and then you’d tell the world what you were doing or thinking. Maybe it’s still like this- thankfully I have no freaking clue. Anyway, back in 2010, something really really icky started to happen to me. My brain started thinking in the format of that tagline sentence. My brain would say “Early is….” throughout the day and I would describe to myself what I was doing. I realized Facebook was eating my brain, so I deleted it, and I have never regretted it for a second.
These apps are designed to get you hooked so you scroll for longer, feel more and more inadequate, and absorb more and more ads. It’s not you, babe, it’s them.
How do we get ourselves out of the feedback loop and stop scrolling our lives away?
You guessed it, mindfulness. At our support group we read an entry from the book Mindful Recovery by Thomas Bien, PhD and Beverly Bien, MEd. They describe the basic concept of mindfulness, which is the practice of bringing ourselves back to the present moment. Read: “TOUCH GRASS.”
There are a multitude of ways to do this, each one will feel different and the benefit is in the practice. The classic way to practice mindfulness is to pay attention to our breath. Our breath is a free tool that is always with us and is available at any time. We can tune into our breath and return to the present moment. You simply pay attention to the fact that you are breathing. That’s all there is to it; that’s mindfulness. As soon as the mind becomes distracted again, or we get an urge to look at our phones, we can say “hello addictive craving” and return again to our breath. This disrupts the feedback loop in our minds and reminds us that we are safe and at peace. If focusing on the breath feels uncomfortable, we can focus on the sensations of the body, the noises around us, or things in our visual field.
As we perform scientific research on our social media addictions, we can get out our journals and ask ourselves:
How do I feel before I open social media?
How do I feel after scrolling a while?
This is your data, and once you have collected enough of it you can make an informed decision about how you would like to use these apps in the future.
If you want my completely unfiltered opinion, dear, delete that shit. Call your friends on the phone. Text each other about upcoming events. Look at the flyers at the library to see what’s going on around you. Touch fucking grass. Focus on your beautiful breath, and you’ll break free from the capitalist machine in your phone.
May you be happy and free, dear reader.
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This week’s podcast episode is an interview with Hope about their story of addiction and recovery. Click here to listen!
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This Sunday 8/17 is another sober potluck and game night at the Omni Center in Fayetteville! See flyer for details.
Support groups are still every Monday at 6pm at Day by Day Healing in Fayetteville.
