Last week at our support group we discussed how it feels to crave something that our core self has determined is no longer serving us. We talked about the emotional experience tied to a craving and discussed coping skills we could implement instead of acting on the impulse.
The addicted voice is a squirrely little feller. Sometimes it can feel like playing whack-a-mole as it rears its little head seemingly at every turn. As we’ve discussed before, thoughts originate from different places in our brain. Our addicted voice lives in a more ancient part of our brain that is focused on survival and only recognizes neurochemicals. During our addiction, it received massive spikes of dopamine when we supplied it with substances/alcohol/gambling/whatever we were using. To this ancient part of our brain, dopamine is synonymous with survival, and that is why it creates thoughts of all shapes and sizes in order to persuade us to use again and again.
Within our prefrontal cortex lies our sense of self, “the viewer”, and this is the part of us that is questioning our relationship to the thing we are addicted to. This part of us wants what’s best for us, it is our personality, our core-self. Times get tough when there are competing thoughts in our brain, we at once both want a drink and never want to drink again. This phenomenon is called cognitive dissonance and it doesn’t make you crazy; it makes you normal.
The work is in disrupting the feedback loop of our addiction by recognizing the addicted voice, then choosing to do something different.
Once we realize the addicted voice is separate from our core self, and is an ancient survival mechanism gone awry, we can make a different choice. It’s no longer, “I want a drink,” it’s “The addicted voice wants a drink, and I want to go for a run or eat ice cream or call my mom or…”
This disruption of the feedback loop of our addiction is the work. And just like it took a long time for us to become dependent on a substance, it will take some time to heal this part of ourselves. It’s not a fight, or a battle. It’s a genuine curiosity, a recognition that all of our thoughts are not our own, and that we don’t have to believe everything we think. We can wave, say “hello addicted voice!” and then choose to do something different. Each time we do this, we create a new neural pathway in our brain, and through the process of neuroplasticity we eventually create a new normal. It’s like forging a new path into the woods and letting the old one get overgrown. It takes time, consistency, and awareness. These are all things that you have inside of you.
What do I want to do instead? What would someone who loves themselves do? How would I respond if my best friend told me they were having these thoughts?
This is the fun part of recovery! We get to try everything, see what works for us, and then do these fun and nice things instead of do the thing that was punishing us before. And I mean it – try everything – even stuff you don’t think you’ll like. Write down how you feel before you try it and how you feel after. Then keep a running list of things that make you feel better, and draw on that list when you get overwhelmed or have a craving. It’s going to be different for everyone! Maybe you like running, or video games, or yoga videos, or progressive muscle relaxation, or ice cream, or staring at the stars, or washing the dishes, or walking your dog, or sudarshan kriya, or riding a bike, or looking at flowers or bugs really closely, or talking to the trees, or reading… I think you get the point!
Everything you need is already inside of you. It’s time to get curious, dig in, and listen.
May you be happy and free, dear reader.
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This week’s podcast episode is also about coping skills to survive a craving. Click here to listen!
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Support groups are still every Monday at 6pm at Day by Day Healing in Fayetteville, AR
